Chains of Love

I thank God for friends who continue to trust and share with me their life stories that expand and mold my view of the world. Today I learned about fidelity and as I am writing this post, my heart is with a friend whose home if wreaked by the poor foundations of marriage. People marry for various reasons. Some see it as a brighter page in life, some see it just as a station in this life's journey and some may see it as a prison cell that limits them indefinitely.

About two years ago, this friend got married to a guy whom I have known for a significant period. I am very happy for them for they seem to be responsible people capable of forming a family. Both of them are working and financial stability is not an area of concern. About a year ago, they had a child who I think made their relationship more solid. It was in my belief, based on the several occasions that I am with the family, that everyone was satisfied and happy with where they were. The mother is working as an HR Supervisor in a major corporation and the husband works in a BPO. Despite the problems of the work schedules, i can tell that they are juggling the balls just fine. Not once did I see any indications of problems nor did my friend confide . 

About some months ago, the cousin of my friend (wife) went to stay with them since she is in the metro preparing for the bar exams. The couple accommodated her since the wife and the cousin are very close. After the bar exams, they even asked the yaya to go for an indefinite leave since the cousin volunteered to personally care for their child. What would be a greater shock than seeing her cousin taking care not only of the needs of the baby but also of her husband. It was a week ago since she discovered her cousin and husband in bed. 

I thank her for the confidence in my advice and her permission to share this through my blog. It is very alarming that at this day, not just random people betray. The very people that you love and you expect to love you back can be the very people who will stab your back. I do not pretend to know the extent of her feeling of pain and betrayal but I know it is more painful than what I have ever felt before. 

An old Filipino saying says that ang pag-aasawa ay hindi kanin na kung napaso ka ay pwede mong iluwa. Let this story be a lesson to everyone to value our relationships. Whatever happened to morality? whatever happened to love? to friendship? to trust? Everyone who is not ready to be chained to one love is not fit for the gift of marriage. Despite all these aches, let us not give up on trust for it is the foundation of love and love is the foundation of everything else. These pain should be the very reason for believing. 

Walking With Wolves

How do we say that we are living safe lives? Is it with the presence of strong police forces that will curb the crimes? Is it the absence of thieves and thugs that can potentially bring us harm? Is it the presence of close relationships that will forever assure us off all the insecurities we have? Threats can be everywhere: in a marriage where the husband cheats, at work where people talk behind your back, in church where the priest misuses the funds or in a  friendship where one stabs the others back. 

We discriminate much on criminals thinking that they are way below us. We tag them as people with no morals and we think they do not deserve respect from us. We frown at the idea that human rights be extended to them because we see that they are the very persons that corrode it. We look at jails and what do we see? We see a picture that does not only include those behind bars but us as a society. 

Netherlands closed their jails because very few crimes are committed that will require imprisonment. Why then is it difficult to replicate that? Maybe the way of life is a big factor. How can we expect bigger crimes not to be committed when at the course of everyday life we commit those petty crimes? Lying, deceit, pilferage, cheating, half-truths and the long line that keep the demon of crimes sated. It is my personal belief that before we start conquering the larger boulders, we start off by clearing away these pebbles that aggregate and form these bigger challenges. 

We fear what we have sown-for the thieves and thugs that we fear, are those that we have tolerated. Those thugs have started with smaller crimes that are deemed acceptable. Soon they will escalate it to bigger crimes where there will be no turning back. We have allowed the weeds to take roots and bear fruits before regretting our inaction. We all have feed the weeds. They are like hounds that were groomed to go bad. We have fed them with flesh and they come back for more carcass.

 I appreciate people who take time to visit the jails and listen to the pleas of those behind bars. I appreciate those who believe that something good can come from them. Never too late for change if there are willing souls to believe and help them rise again. Who are we to judge? Are they the people we should fear the most? We only managed to put the hounds behind bars- the wolves are out here walking among us.